You Know What We Need to See More of In Comics?

No, Frank…not breasts. Geez…

Dark characters. Either good heroes gone bad or alternate universe “Dark Reflections” of good heroes. Can we ever have enough of that? Really?

Where would we be without Dark Pheonix? In fact, we really need another Dark Pheonix Storyline, don’t you think? Joey Q, get on that, stat!

Heck, White Tiger is up to, what, issue three or four… isn’t it about time we get Dark White Tiger? Just a suggestion Tamora and Tim. Just… a… suggestion.

Thankfully, Spidey is back in black, so somebody is clearly listening. Let’s get to it. The fans are demanding it. The writers want to write it. More “Dark Characters!” Face it, we’ve lost so much of what made comics great in the 90’s already. Lets not blink and realize this one is gone after it’s to late!

Posted in: Comic Books, Satire

13 thoughts on “You Know What We Need to See More of In Comics? Leave a comment

  1. Hehehe… Do the women have beards too Lefty, or do they just not shave? :O

    I still wonder how Supergirl shaves… given how low her skirts go, she clearly shaves all over.. and her legs are always super smooth O_O;;;

  2. See, Peter has a beard, so he would be “Dark Peter” or “Evil Peter”, as opposed his beardless reflection self. Thus proving this theory…who would not by the comic book adventures of “Dark Peter”????

  3. ::Heck, White Tiger is up to, what, issue three or four… isn’t it about time we get Dark White Tiger? ::

    ::SPITTAKE!:: Thom, how did you KNOW that what we were planning? Though, b/c Tammy’s a bestselling fantasy novelist, we’re going to tease the “darkness” for a couple more issues before we spring the Big Reveal….

    …That after seeing Hector’s widow Soledad, mad with grief, go all supervillainess evil and channel the mystial power of K’un L’un’s dark mirror realm Nu’K Nu’K to become the Black Panther – er, Off-Charcoal Jaguarundi and kill all of the del Toro clan except Angela and her mother Awilda, Angela will lose it totally, adopt the outfit Kadiemae did up for her in her SEQUENTIAL TART writeup, and go on a hundred-issue (or more, if the sales figures justify it!) vendetta!

    First, she’ll arrange the death of the FBI National Director who tried to fire her – and so what if Vanessa Fisk already had him killed in DAREDEVIL? If you were carefully following the continuity, you’d see that even though DAREDEVIL #92 was PUBLISHED several months ago, the start of our new “Dark White Tiger” arc happened first, and Vanessa Fisk was claiming credit for Angela’s dark rage!

    Then over the course of a whole lot of issues, the Dark White Tiger will slowly and painfully kill off every obscure Marvel villain Tammy and I can find that no OTHER writer is using – and maybe, because it’ll be a sign of her True Dark Side, she’ll engage in some Hot Lesbonic Action with Black Cat or Namora or one of the Emma Frost clones Scott HASN’T shot yet in Whedon’s X-MEN run, and the two of them can put a down payment on a Subaru Forrester, or start a softball team, or something like that. (THAT should put a smile on the fanboyz’s faces, and keep our numbers up for a while!) Meanwhile, Awilda will emote periodically at Dark Spider-Man a lot, usually on the order of, “Didn’t I live through this plot already in the early Eighties, when you and Hector were classmates at Empire State University?”

    Finally, when Marvel finally has a female EIC who actually looks at the title and mutters “What IS this swill, anyway? I thought Tamora Pierce was supposed to be a GOOD writer!”, we’ll wrap it all up with a mega-issue crossover with Dark Spider-Man, Brooding Franklin Richards and Iron Maniac when they all engage in the final battle with – Aunt Soledad, alias the Off-Charcoal Jaguarundi! In the huge battle everybody will seemingly be killed off (but it’ll be ambiguous enough that the next group of writers can retcon them all back into existence at need!) – except Angela, who will renounce her Dark White Tiger ways, and the series ends with her in Asia somewhere seeking K’un L’un, and the path to true enlightenment and expiation.

    I don’t know about you guys, but I smell Eisner Award!

    Best,
    Tim Liebe
    “Hello – Mr. Quesada?… You want us to start on this new arc – immediately? But, you see, it was a just a jok – … Yes, Sir – I DO understand what a ‘First Refusal’ Clause is… Define a ‘couple changes’, please… You want us to change the Subaru Forrester into a Jeep Patriot, because you’ve got some synergistic marketing thing going with them…?”

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