The State of…Whatever…

I really…really find the State of the Union Address…pointless. Mainly because the President mentions things that he never addresses again. Remember ending our addiction to oil? Remember no child left behind? I would ask my friend Peter, but he’s a history/current events teacher and so, often behind on the times.

It started out pretty well. Everyone was friendly. Then, Bush started on the stuff we must do. Balance the Budget. Great. Ten minutes of applause. We can do it without raising taxes. I make less than $30,000 a year, I can go for that. Ten more minutes of applause. Stop the sense of entitlements…like what…wire taps? Sorry,that was snarky. Lets fix medicade and save social security. Bravo! So far, these are hard things for me to argue against.

Hey! He did mention No Child Left Behind…maybe he will allow funding this year? Oooo…I gotta admit…the Health insurance thing sounds potentially nice (except for if you’re pretty well off).

Temporary worker program. Hmmmm. May help, especially with all them Canadians sneaking over the border to take advantage of our healt-what? They aren’t? Whoops! I was wrong about that “dependency on oil” thing. We need to get rid of our dependence on foreign oil. Yeah, yeah, he said he wants to cut down on our oil consumption by 20%. So why haven’t we seen any action since the last time he made this claim?

You know all those polls showing the Presidents approval numbers? I think everyone who gives him high marks is sitting in that room. At least, judging by the applause.

Ahhhh…the war. Listening to Bush talk about this is funny. He’s not completely wrong. Iraq is suffering from sectarian violence, of course, but also from outside forces that are not our biggest fans. Bush claimed Iraq was part of that war on terror in 2003. And he was wrong. Iraq was far from a frontline in the (absurdly named) “War on Terror”…but now it is…because we went in. And Mr. President? When the last big victory we had in Iraq were elections one year ago…we are not doing so well. And I am not sure the proposed surge is going to change things for the better. I get that high tailing it out of Iraq is not a swell idea. I realize that could turn Iraq into the thing you claimed it was in 2003. But it all feels like desperate grabbing at straws now.

Wow. That’s rather depressing. Lets stop looking at what was said and how it all played out(in my head, which is far less boring than what we all saw). Nancy Pelosi wearing that “Bush: # 1 Terrorist” T-Shirt seemed totally inappropriate. On the other hand, when Bush slapped her ass as she introduced him was not really the best moment either. I also thought the Mission Accomplished banner behind Bush was a bit premature. Having John McCain do that dance in the dress was downright mean.

Did anyone else notice Cheney pointing into the camera and mouthing “You better be careful, Patrick Fitzgerald”? It only got creepier when he casually pulled out a rifle and started loading it with birdshot.

When Bush showed pictures of Angelina Jolie’s adopted kids saying how proud we are to call them American citizens, it got a little weird. Frankly, it looked like pandering to the Hollywood African Baby Adopting Elite.

So there you have it:

Energy, health care, No Child Left Behind, economy good, global warming, terrorism, America rocks!

The Rebuttal: America is great! Save New Orleans! Let’s work together! Economy Bad! American workers do not make enough! Iraq ends soon! Iraq/Korean War Comparison! America is great!

Sorry…I lost the gusto to put any real effort in there at the end. Plus these guys in black suits are peeking into my window.

Posted in: Politics, Satire

2 thoughts on “The State of…Whatever… Leave a comment

  1. Hehehehe…. I wish he would stop giving his speeches at 9pm on Tuesdays! I WANT TO WATCH HOUSE!!! >:|


    Your imagination is better than real life tho :O Can I live there? XD

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